I like to think I take woo woo things such as astrology and seeing psychics with a grain of salt, yet I fear I follow the aforementioned more than most.
It’s hard to pin-point when these obsessions started, but I believe it all began with reading an old astrology book at about age 11. This was followed by a ghost sighting in my teens and a couple of other spooky experiences throughout adolescence. And, to top it all off, I then lived with a practising buddhist in Sicily for a year when I was 17.
For a bit more back story I had grown up in a (lovely) exceptionally white, traditional and anglo-centric town called Christchurch. Basically it’s the last city before the end of the earth and rather stuck in its ways. There wasn’t much space to be a hippy there and my upbringing was non-religious yet culturally Anglican (aka unspiritual with not much room to go against the norm).
So when I returned to New Zealand from Sicily I kept the buddhism up. I attended meetings in Wellington, where I was living as a student - which were actually very chic as The Hobbit was being filmed there at the time and buddhism had taken the film world by storm (even Orlando Bloom attended). I topped this off with a Deepak Chopra-lead meditation practise and frequent yoga classes.
Yet I let this all go when I moved to London in my early 20s and drinking, drug taking and British cynicism took over. I was tired of people taking the piss out of me and just wanted to fit in (FYI, upon reflection, meditation and authenticity is much better for you than coke).
Since then I had dabbled in the odd reading, appointment with a healer and have always followed pop-astrology Instagram accounts. This was enough to satiate my spiritual appetite until last year when my life fell apart. If you’ve read my work before you may already know that I was rather brutally dumped last year (I know, I know, I must get over it soon). This was paired with multiple other painful experiences, which included closing my shop front and a bereavement. Basically I was forced to restart everything from scratch.
One point of contention, in the aforementioned relationship which ended, was that I was woo-woo and he was a scientist turned financial analyst. I was unconventional and he was traditional. We were absolute opposites and he took it upon himself to berate me about my beliefs constantly, even saying things like “I will leave you if you get an astrology reading.”
So naturally, after he broke my heart, I went full woo. I booked a Human Design reading (if you don’t know what that is I wrote an article on it for Fashion Journal), had my astrology chart re-read, and cried (via Zoom because lockdown) to my life coach. I did this because I was distraught, but also because I was finally free to let my goop-flag fly.
Since then I’ve been doing a full-blown manifestation course (which claims to be anti woo-woo but is really rather woo-woo), upped my meditation and learnt to properly read astrology charts myself.
I’ve also realised a reason I love astrology so much is because it’s so mathematical. It’s very off-brand for me but I was brilliant at maths when I was a pre-teen, to the point that I was in the school maths team ala Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls.
Astrology makes sense to me because it’s cyclical and works a bit like a watch. All it is is dials moving and pin pointing moments in time which capture a certain energy or archetype.
Of course my current level of woo-woo has not stopped with astrology. Recently I was in the car with my friends who were in absolute hysterics after I told them about a past life regression I had done. “Charlotte, you were not a Sage in prehistoric times, nor were you a Scribe in Victorian England.” Um - excuse me! I saw it all for myself!
OK, maybe that’s bullshit but I want to believe it?
The other irony in all of this is that I am, in many ways, a total atheist. I can’t stand religion and the way it has oppressed so many for so long (not to mention I think it’s a total crock of shit). Yet I’m equally, deeply spiritual. So what does that make me? A white witch?
Regardless we all need something to help us make sense of things. Big losses, coincidences, unfair hands we’ve been dealt, reasons to hold onto hope, etc. For me that’s astrology, for you it might be hiking in nature. The common thread is that we need a way to witness the fact that there are greater things at work. These things don’t come from a man in a sky, but the stardust from which we are all made, at least that’s what I think.
I am woo-woo, hear me roar. Hate me, berate me, I don’t actually care anymore. You have fun with that bag of white powder, and I’ll be over here meditating.
Namaste.
Awesome post! I’m a recovering problem drinker and finding spirituality totally transformed my life. All the things I was interested in prior to the London club scene (star gazing, moon watching, tarot, crystals) were back in my life and I loved it! Like you, I also had an ex who would berate me about my “woo woo” ways (shamed me) then it all went undercover again...until I finished it with him and scroll forward 6 years post break up. And it feels good to be me exploring all the ways I’m spiritual (I have a human design reading booked next month!!)
Not everyone is into the things I am and that’s fine. You do you, I’ll do me. But what I do know for sure, is that I will never ever dull my light or not stand in my truth again - for anyone - especially when it comes to something as important as my spirituality.